Due to the onslaught of anti-free-speech laws
(the CDA was only the beginning)
that our technologicaly illiterate congress insists on passing,
I have been forced to restrict access
to my archive of nude pictures. You must now certify that you are over the
age of 18 under penalty of perjury.
I've written a java age detector to make sure that you actually are over 18.
It takes the personal information you entered in your preferences and compares
it against a government database.