Story 153

30 yrs later.... I am just beginning to let go of the way my life changed forever. I was 14-15, and a bunch of us went to a dance, we bought some blue blotter acid, i took it and i can't even say i had any cool halucinations, just right away everyone looked dead, just like really dead. My mother told me I had to come home, I had been gone partting with my freinds all weekend, so me and a car load of freinds started to drive to my house, and then I started to panic!!!! and i mean panic- I knew that if I went into that house high, that there would be something really bad happen, I felt like i would be trapped forever inside with no way out. So i left, with my friends, knowing I was also dead from my mom when she got her hands on me, From that day forward , the confident and fun and pretty girl was gone, I was never ever going to be the same. I had panic attacks that kept me from doing normal things like getting into elevators, or flying or god forbid I had to go into a room where i had to go in too far , i would panic. I was angry and scared to death--so I started hanging out with bikers and turned into a drunk, and I would fight you if you looked funny. It took years of quiting drugs and booze and therapy to get my head together, i stillam scared of alot of things, but i don't let it control me too much. One thing too is the lost opportunities because of the panic disorder, such as acting, or singing in a band, i was a good singer too. I really wanted to dance in a dance company but i was too fucking panicked. Today i own a business, and of course i am scared of that too. I am married, and happy. I never thought I could be out on my own because of the panic . plus I spent over 20 yrs hiding it. which made it worse. I took LSD to have fun. to party and to do what my friends were doing and it turned on me, like a rabid dog and ripped my life as I knew it to shreds. If it works for you do it, in fact take some for me, but there is NO telling what kind of trip your going to go on, i just cross my fingers and hope to god you come out a whole person. sharon