Story 9

Well, this is what the title says, I guess.. I'd always found reading other people's accounts of trips interesting, but prior to last night I didn't class any experiences I'd had on LSD before to have been 'mind-blowing' enough to warrant writing a story about them. This account is probably as much for myself to keep as a reminder as it is for you guys to read :) Ok, to set the scene - it is now thursday night, approx 8.30pm. I'm still feeling scattered and am gradually returning to "normal" after taking an uncertain amount of acid at about midnight. I've posted before with queries about interactions/etc between certain antidepressant medication and LSD - I've found from past experience that prozac dramatically reduced acid effects to the point where I could eat inhuman doses of the stuff and still only have a mild experience. I've recently been placed on Serzone, and had _assumed_ until now that it would most likely also have a profound blocking action on LSD effects. So, last night I went out to the local weekly acid techno club. Shortly after I arrived, it occured to me that perhaps I might "test the water", so to speak, with this new antidepressant. I figured I'd take a moderate dose of acid, and given the blocking effect of the AD would not experience any hugely intense effects - this was not what I was aiming for/in the frame of mind to handle. I decided that given the fact that I've had 4+ hits at once while not on an AD of any form and handled it fine, and been able to take far more when on prozac, 4 hits (assuming average strength around here of 40-60ug) would be a good "test" dose to trial things. I bought my 4 trips, and upon going to the toilet to take them, noticed that I'd actually received 3 microdots and a blotter trip. It briefly crossed my mind that the strength of the microdots was a huge unknown - they're known for being potent, and could possibly have 100's+ug of lsd in them. However, I assumed they'd be no big deal (ha!) and munched the lot, followed down by the smiley blotter :) Within an hour or so I found myself feeling _extremely_ light on my feet and my thoughts beginning to rush off in strange directions. This gradually built up and became more and more intense over the next 30 minutes or so - by which stage I had begun to realise that if this was how I was feeling _now_, an hour after dropping, I'd be out of my mind within a few hours! Now, either the antidepressant does not have the blocking action at all that I thought it would have, or the dose I'd taken was so extreme that it simply blasted through any blocking effects. Anyway, to make the point, I believe these were extremely potent doses of acid (150+ug each, at a guess), and what follows is the rollercoaster ride that eventuated :) Eventually, the "peaky", restless feelings became so overpowering that I decided to leave the club and go home. I hailed a cab out the front, hopped in and begun the "journey" home. This is where the visuals kicked, bigtime - I don't normally seem to experience any profound visual distortions from acid, but this time was a lot different. Tracers were _everywhere_ - watching the street lights and scenery go past, everything looked like it was being displayed in slow motion with a 'motion blur' behind it - an effect best reconstructed in some of the trip scenes from The Wall, IMHO :) Eventually we made it home, I struggled to count out the right change to pay the fare, and hopped out about 2 blocks from my home. Walking back, trees were looming down at me with faces amongst the branches, tracers were _everywhere_ again :), and I was simply awestruck at the force of the trip, considering that it was still building up. I got to my house, and preceded to lie down in the front garden watching the trees/stars while having a smoke. The trees above me resembled some form of padded ceiling, and faces again began to appear among them. My dog appeared at the back gate, and started whining - every time my emotions/thoughts "peaked" in an intense way, the dog would whine - very strange indeed :/ I began to walk around the front garden - as is well known, you can become very restless while tripping, and I didn't feel like sitting still. While wandering around, I noticed the visual distortions/tracers etc building to an even more powerful level, and decided that it would probably be a good idea to get inside and get to the bed before I forgot which way the front door was :) So - I came indoors, and proceeded to lie down on my bed with the headphones on. I soon found the brain 'drilling' effects of the music quite irritating (it was a 303 acid compiliation), and took the headphones off, placing them next to me where I could still hear the music... and it was somewhere around this point that everything started to go very wrong. I'm still at a loss to work out what happened next - I was obviously well and truly out there by this stage, and for one reason or another I can't _remember_ very much of the next hour or so. I remember getting up off the bed searching for something - I was feeling very wound up, and I think I was looking for my cigarettes in the hope of calming down a bit. I began wandering around my room in ever-decreasing circles looking around, and the visual situation was getting truly silly, posters coming to life in front of me/tracers everywhere etc etc.. Eventually I must have decided to head back out to the front of the house again, where I knew there would be some smokes. About 5 minutes or so later, I suddenly "found myself" outside the front door with a half finished cigarette - and the scary thing here was that I _knew_ I was tripping out of my mind, but had absolutely no recollection of having taken anything or even of going out beforehand. I remember thinking "What am I _doing_ here?!" I rationalised that I'd obviously taken a trip, and that it must be the morning after returning from some sort of party. Still, I was uncomfortable about the fact that I could not recall what I'd actually taken, and that somehow the fact that it was ~3am and I was tripping off my head just didn't seem _right_. I managed to get myself back into my room, and the panic (which I guess is what you'd call it) just continuted to escalate. I found myself totally unable to relax, continually walking around my room and out into the adjoining hallways. And somewhere around this point, my entire sense of "me", self, just disintegrated. Even though a "death of ego" experience is something I'd been looking forward to trying in the future, at this point I was completely unprepared for such feelings, as I'd only expected to have a mild experience. My mind was absolutely whirling at this point, and if I tried to recount all of the bizarre concepts running through it here this would be 100 pages long :) Anyhow, things around me became more and more dreamlike/surreal - I was beginning to lose my grasp of the fact that this was all a drug experience; gradually a paranoia that this was all some sort of bizarre dream or experiment that I was somehow being put through began to build in me. I began wandering through the house in the darkness, but it did not feel like "me" controlling my body. At one point I truly felt as if I was being manipulated by some external "force" and willed it to go away as strongly as I could - I then felt as if something had blasted free of my body and fled into the shadows, very strange! Without being able to go into the exact detail (which would be too long anyway), as I said, my grasp of "reality" was becoming increasingly weak - I was sure this was some sort of experiment/punishment/whatever being carried out on me unawares by _someone_. I decided it would just be 'right' to wake up my parents for help - the fact that it was nearly 4am and I was basically giving myself in for going out and taking chemicals barely even registered. To cut the rest of it short, I ended up going to hospital with my dad (because by this point I was getting increasingly doubtful that I'd taken anything at all, and was simply going nuts), deciding I could cope, leaving, walking home and then spending until about 10am coming down and eventually sleeping. What annoys me about this whole experience is that I 'lost it' in such a big way - I've always been able to control things to a point in the past, but I guess I was just completely unprepared for the experience at the time. This must have just been some damn strong acid!